In April of 2006, an outgoing girl (me) met a tall, quiet, really cute blonde boy (J) at the rest of history. After 2 years of dating, traveling, and fun, he finally asked me to be his wife on February 21, 2008. A whirlwind 6 months later and we were married!
Life was wonderful, and time marched on. In the course of the next 5 years, time marched on and we loved our little life together - Alabama (the good side)/Auburn (his side) rivalry aside!
In early 2013, we decided it was time to expand our family and we were excited, anxious and ready to start this journey into parenthood. The months passed with negative test after negative test each month. With age not on our side anymore (I was 30, he was 33), we decided to seek help. At the recommendation of many people we knew, we decided on Dr. Honea at ART of Alabama. We knew she was a great choice the instant we met her! She's a Christian first and foremost, but she also has the knowledge of fertility issues. She performed the first successful IVF procedure in Alabama, after all! They're aggressive with women over 30, which is what we wanted.
So our first visit in November 2013 went well...our physical exams were healthy, our blood work came back good, and the genetic screening came back with no genetic issues. We were moving forward as soon as my next cycle started!
On December 5, 2013, we did our first IUI! This stands for Intrauterine Insemination and without getting too detailed, a small, thin catheter is inserted through the cervix into the uterus and the sperm is then deposited directly into the uterus instead of having to travel through the cervix, where a majority of them die in everyone.
December 18, 2013 I went for my beta test (this is beta-HCG, which is the blood pregnancy test). I wasn't expecting this to be positive because what I thought was my period had started that morning - right on time! The results of this came back at 5.1, which was confusing. A negative result is less than 5, but it isn't a positive test unless it is greater than 10. So it was neither positive or negative. They instructed me to proceed as if it were negative and we'll start a new baseline blood test for a new cycle on Monday, December 23.
On December 23, 2013, I went in for my "baseline" appointment. This means they take blood and check your estrogen and FSH numbers - these are the hormone levels they use to determine when you ovulate. They also did a trans vaginal ultra sound, which is standard - I had had MANY of these by this point. She noticed my uterine lining hadn't shed quite like it should, but assumed I just wasn't done menstruating and we moved on. Imagine my shock when they called me later that afternoon and congratulated me on being pregnant! My beta level was 122! Holy cow! They were very concerned that my progesterone level (this is the hormone that keeps you pregnant) was very low, so they started me immediately on progesterone supplements and sent me off to enjoy Christmas.
We decided to only tell our parents and sisters about it since it was 1) so early and 2) we were already dealing with complications. They were excited for sure, but we were all cautiously optimistic.
Unfortunately, on my next appointment on December 26, my beta levels had dropped to 106. They weren't ready to throw in the towel just yet...but on my December 30 lab, they had dropped even lower to the 80's. They confirmed a miscarriage, but instructed me that I would still come in for twice weekly blood tests to follow that level all the way to negative.
After seeing a huge spike in my beta levels at the following blood draw, it was confirmed that I had an ectopic pregnancy. An ectopic pregnancy is when an egg is fertilized by the sperm and an embryo is created. As Christian, we believe life is conceived at this time. However, due to reasons that are never known, the embryo implanted itself outside of the uterus. It doesn't always happen in the tube - it can occur outside the uterus, on the bladder, anywhere in the pelvic region. We are fairly confident mine happened in my tube since I presented with the symptoms of that (pinching on the side from which I had ovulated, sharp shoulder pain on the the side I had ovulated from, and heavier than normal bleeding).
They recommended a high dose of methotrexate, which is a chemotherapy drug, to dissolve the pregnancy. This was the best option in their eyes because it avoided surgery and guaranteed preservation of my left ovary and tube. But this also meant we had to go 3 months with absolutely no getting pregnant due to the harmful effects of the drug.
April 8, 2014 I finally had my third cycle start and we are back to the grind of trying.
We have gone through every range of emotion since that first appointment in November. We have felt extreme optimism and hope, excitement, anxiety, JOY, loss, grief, patience, and now fear. Fear of what is to come with this new cycle. In my darkest days, I found myself covered in grief and crying out to God asking why. Why me? Why this? Why had he forsaken me? I found myself angry and doubting His direction in my life. Then I would get angry at myself for doubting God. We know He has an infinite plan for our lives. And we hope and pray that plan includes a precious babe (or two!), but we also will accept whatever He has in store. We only ask that as you read our entries and follow our story, that you will pray with us and for us in this journey.
We continue to pray, "Lord, light our path..."
No comments:
Post a Comment